Welcome back to The Happiness Files, Reader. A few months ago, I wrote about how spending money wisely—especially through practices like thrift—can make us happier. That newsletter focused on how to use money well. Today, I want to revisit the money question—one of the most talked-about questions in happiness research!—-from another angle: How much money do we really need to be happy? Because the truth is: Money does make a difference. But when it comes to our feelings about money, it's...
about 1 month ago • 4 min read
Hi Reader, Years ago, a friend of mine quietly told her partner she wanted to write a novel. He didn’t laugh. He didn’t brush her off or say “that’s nice, honey.” Instead, he rearranged their weekends so she’d have time to write. That simple gesture didn’t just help her finish the book. It made her feel seen. It made her feel loved. Psychologists have a beautiful name for this kind of support: The Michelangelo Effect. What is the Michelangelo Effect? Just as Michelangelo believed an angel was...
about 2 months ago • 2 min read
Hey Reader, You’ve probably seen the headlines: “This one habit will change your life.”“Do this for 5 minutes a day and you’ll be happier.” But the truth is, there’s no single habit or strategy that works for everyone. Happiness isn’t a prescription. It’s more like a personal recipe. What makes me happy might leave you feeling flat… or even uncomfortable. And that’s not just a nice idea—it’s what the science shows us. Research has consistently found that the most effective happiness...
2 months ago • 3 min read
Hey Reader, Have you ever had the urge to reach out to someone—maybe an old friend, a colleague, or a neighbor—but then talked yourself out of it? “I don’t wanna bother them.” “What if it’s awkward?” “They probably won’t even respond.” I’ve been there too. Last winter, I thought about texting a friend I hadn’t seen since before the pandemic. I hesitated. It felt random. But I hit send anyway. Her reply? “This made my whole day.” That tiny moment stuck with me. And it turns out, there’s...
3 months ago • 2 min read
Hey Reader, before we get into the science of how happiness "jumps" from person to person, I have an exciting announcement...🥁 I'll be a speaker at the TEDNext Conference this November in Atlanta, GA! It's a huge honor, and I can't wait to meet the other speakers. The event is November 9-11, and you can learn all about it here. And now that I think about it, sharing that happy news with you is kind of the perfect lead-in to today's topic. This week, I’m excited to share this newsletter with...
3 months ago • 3 min read
Hey Reader, With Mother’s Day and Father’s Day behind us, some of you might find yourselves thinking about a question that’s more complex than you might think: “Do children make us happier?” This isn’t just an academic question for me—I’m a mom of four. It’s a question that’s sparked lively debate among scholars, journalists, and parents alike. Even the research is mixed—some studies find that parents are happier than their childless peers, while others reach the opposite conclusion. So what...
4 months ago • 3 min read
Have we been doing gratitude wrong, Reader? Most of us have heard that gratitude is good for us. Keeping a journal. Making a list. Counting our blessings. These simple practices have long been recommended as a science-backed path to happiness. But a growing body of research suggests that how we express gratitude matters just as much as whether we express it at all. A few years ago, we ran an experiment out of my lab that tested six types of gratitude activities, including the classic...
4 months ago • 3 min read
Hey Reader, I consider myself an “extraverted introvert.” Parties are my happy place. I thrive in social settings and can talk anyone’s ear off... right after I’ve had some quiet time to recharge. But it wasn’t always this way. As a teen, I was painfully shy and quiet. (Yes, really.) But, over time, I made a conscious effort to become more sociable. Why? Partly because extraverts seemed to be having more fun. And partly because American culture rewards sociability in ways the Soviet...
4 months ago • 2 min read
Welcome back to The Happiness Files, Reader. Last time, we talked about the paradox of gratitude fatigue—how a practice meant to boost happiness can backfire when it's overdone. Today, we’re diving into another nuanced question—one that gets oversimplified far too often: Does money buy happiness? It's a classic debate. People assume that the answer is a straightforward “yes” (or maybe a guilty “yes, but...”). But the research tells a more interesting story. Yes, money can make us happier—but...
5 months ago • 2 min read