Hey Reader,

I consider myself an “extraverted introvert.” Parties are my happy place. I thrive in social settings and can talk anyone’s ear off... right after I’ve had some quiet time to recharge. But it wasn’t always this way.

As a teen, I was painfully shy and quiet. (Yes, really.) But, over time, I made a conscious effort to become more sociable. Why? Partly because extraverts seemed to be having more fun. And partly because American culture rewards sociability in ways the Soviet Union—where I spent my early childhood—did not. Russians aren’t exactly known for their bubbly vibes 😐

Fast forward to today, and I found myself wondering:

The Science of Acting Extraverted

One of my former Ph.D. students, Seth Margolis, ran an experiment to explore this (link at the end of the email). He asked both introverts and extraverts to behave more outgoing than usual over the course of a week. The results?

Everyone—introverts and extraverts—reported feeling significantly happier.

Yes, even self-identified introverts saw their moods lift just by dialing up their sociability a bit.

One of my current Ph.D. students has found something similar—and more!—in her dissertation (not yet peer-reviewed or published). Acting more extraverted, she learned, might not only alleviate your loneliness—it also could strengthen your immune system.

The takeaway? Even short bursts of extraverted behavior can have surprisingly powerful effects on health and well-being.

Should You Always Be More Outgoing?

Not necessarily. The Extraversion Experiment didn’t suggest we can—or should—completely change our personalities.

Even as an “extraverted introvert,” I still need more solitude than my naturally extraverted friends. But the research shows that adopting outgoing behaviors in certain situations—like when you're already around others—can offer a real mood boost.

To be clear: These were short-term effects. We don’t yet know if acting more extraverted is sustainable or ideal over the long haul. People are different. For some, too much social interaction can be exhausting, and pushing themselves too hard can feel fake.

The good news? You don’t need a total personality overhaul. Just a few intentional shifts can create a meaningful lift.

Take it from me: I still treasure my alone time. (Let’s just say my kids know when it’s time to give mom her “woman cave” time.) But leaning into social moments—especially when the timing feels right—has made me a much happier person. And the science agrees.

Try This: 7 Mini Experiments to Boost Your Mood

Want to test it yourself? Here are seven research-based strategies for exploring your extraverted side:

1. Experiment with Extraverted Behaviors: Pick just one or two actions—for example, start a conversation with a stranger or speak up more openly.
2. Start Small and Build Slowly: Don’t try to transform overnight. Greet your neighbor with enthusiasm and go from there.
3. Focus on Behaviors, Not Labels: Think in terms of action: “I'll say hi to the person in line” or “I’m going to share my opinion in this meeting,” not “I need to be an extravert.”
4. Find Your Balance: Notice how it feels. If you’re drained, dial it back. But keep experimenting.
5. Honor Your Introversion: Solitude, deep conversation, and quiet time are essential for everyone. These studies and suggestions are not about replacing them.
6. Use It as a Tool: Feeling low? Try turning up the sociability and see what happens.
7. Curate the Environment: Try these behaviors in safe places—coffee shops, small gatherings, or with upbeat music playing. Make it something you look forward to, not a chore.

The Big Idea

Acting more outgoing can be like stretching a muscle you haven’t used in a while—awkward at first, but easier (and more rewarding) over time.

So next time you’re feeling off, try this micro-experiment: Be a little more social than usual—and see what shifts.

You might be surprised by the lift.

Until next time,

Sonja

P.S. Want to dig into the research? Here’s the original study: Margolis, S., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2020). Experimental manipulation of extraverted and introverted behavior and its effects on well-being. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 149(4), 719–731.